Funny Christmas Wishes: During Christmas, happiness takes over like the snows in the winter. It’s a season to celebrate like never before. And nothing better than a funny Christmas wish can get you in the mood for a celebration.
These funny Christmas wishes will help you share the fun of Christmas all around. These are some of the funniest Christmas wishes to make your loved one smile.
So, don’t hesitate to add some witty humor to your Christmas texts and send them to your friends and loved ones.
Here are some hilarious and funny Christmas wishes and greetings that you might be looking for this Christmas.
Funny Christmas Wishes
May your Christmas lights work the first time you plug them in – unlike last year. Merry Christmas!
Wishing you a Christmas that’s merry and bright… but mainly just bright enough to hide the wine stains. Cheers!
Here’s to hoping Santa doesn’t mix up the naughty and nice list this year. Fingers crossed!
May your ugly Christmas sweater be only outshined by your even uglier Christmas socks. Have a fashionable Christmas!
If calories didn’t count at Christmas, why does my scale disagree every December 26th? Enjoy the cookies!
Wishing you all the love and joy this season… and an extra-large coffee for when the family visits. Merry Christmas!
Remember: The best gift is the presence… and not having to return anything the day after. Happy Holidays!
May your eggnog be spike-free, or may your secret sips be undiscovered. Either way, cheers to a sneaky Christmas!
This year, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included. Merry Christmas!
Wishing you a holiday season free from unwrapping another ‘bathroom essential’ set. Cheers to originality!
Hope Santa fills your stockings with joy, laughter, and fewer socks this year. Happy Christmas!
Here’s to hoping your Christmas tree doesn’t fall and your cat doesn’t climb. Stay festive!
If we listen closely, the true spirit of Christmas is silently judging our dessert choices. Eat up!
Wishing you more toys under the tree than trips to assemble them. Have a hassle-free Christmas!
May your festive joy not be overshadowed by the thought of the work emails piling up. Unplug and unwind!
Wishing you the gift of endless patience for every Christmas lights tangle. Stay merry and unknotted!
Here’s hoping you love your Christmas gifts… and have kept the receipts for those you don’t. Happy unwrapping!
This Christmas, may your family’s drama be only as lasting as a Hallmark movie plot. Peace and popcorn to you!
Wishing you the stamina to endure every Christmas carol and the wisdom to avoid every mistletoe. Stay jolly!
Enjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list. May you have a great holiday!
Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!
Remember to smile and enjoy your time. Because when Christmas is over, nobody will care whether you exist or not!
If holiday spirit was measured in cookie intake, we’d all be bursting with joy… and buttons. Enjoy every bite and have a Merry Christmas!
I hope your smiles will be as big as your Christmas credit card bill! Wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!
This is the time of the year to feel special and cared for because when it ends, nobody cares if you exist or not. Merry Christmas!
Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic; Merry Christmas!
I prayed that Santa would give you wings this Christmas so you can fly and disappear from the earth forever. Just kidding. Merry Christmas!
You know your life sucks when you have to wait the entire year for Santa to bring you some presents because apparently, no one care to give you a present.
Funny Christmas Messages
I’d say jingle all the way, but do we really want to jingle all day? Everything in moderation. Merry Christmas!
May your Christmas sparkle… just not too much, or you might get mistaken for the Christmas tree. Shine responsibly!
Remember: Christmas calories don’t count if you don’t see them. Close your eyes and enjoy that third piece of pie!
Santa saw your Instagram. You’re getting clothes and a dictionary this year. Happy Holidays!
Here’s to a Merry Christmas and to finally figuring out where the ‘un-subscribe’ button is for 2023!
I’ve checked it twice, and I’m sure… a spa day is what we’ve been good for this year. Merry relaxation!
Merry Christmas! May your WiFi be strong, your coffee be warm, and your stretchy pants be forgiving.
This Christmas, let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip. More gifts for us!
Don’t worry about that New Year’s resolution. Remember, it’s the thought that counts. Happy feasting!
Merry Christmas! Here’s to finding out all the new tech toys are not self-assembling.
If you jingle my bells, I promise you a white Christmas. Stay mischievously festive!
May your Christmas dinner be like Santa – fat, jolly, and gone by morning!
Wishing you a holiday season as short as my patience for cheesy Christmas songs. Stay merry!
Sending you Christmas cheer… and subtly reminding you that online gift returns are a thing. Happy shopping!
Christmas tip: Stand under the mistletoe until someone meets your gift demands. Have a strategic Christmas!
May your Christmas be filled with lots of love and a little bit of ‘don’t touch my dessert’.
Santa called. You’ve been upgraded from ‘Nice’ to ‘Oh lala!’. Expect great gifts. Merry Christmas!
This Christmas, may you be surrounded by loved ones, good food, and a well-charged phone.
Merry Christmas! May you laugh hard enough to re-gift happiness all year round.
Hoping Santa gets you everything you wish for. If not, there’s always next year’s wish list!
Yes, Santa clause does exist and his beards are fake. He appears once a year because the rest of the days he’s just your dad!
Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!
Santa was looking at a painting of a naked woman with leaves covering her body for a long time. Santa asked what are you doing and she answered: Waiting for autumn.
There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts. Have a fun Christmas!
Christmas is not only for praying and praising. But for drinking and messing around also. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send me lots of cash this Christmas. Thank you!
Yours was the most wonderful Christmas greeting of all. However, you are the one who should be filling my socks at Christmas, not my inbox!
Funny Christmas Wishes for Him
Merry Christmas! Here’s to hoping your day is as grand as your beard (or lack of one).
Santa’s making a list, checking it twice… but I told him to skip you and just send the gifts to me. Fair, right?
Merry Christmas! Just remember – calories don’t count when you’re in good company. Let’s feast!
If Christmas love was measured in beard length, consider yourself adored up to your knees!
Told Santa to give you more style this Christmas. You’re welcome in advance!
Christmas tip: If you keep playing those holiday songs, Santa might just give you coal. Consider yourself warned!
This Christmas, I’m getting you something money can’t buy – another year of putting up with me. Lucky you!
Deck the halls and not your brother. Happy Holidays to my favorite partner in mischief!
May your Christmas be as warm and cozy as the flannel shirts you have too many of. Cheers!
Heard Santa’s giving extra points to those who can cook this year. Hint, hint. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! If you can’t fix the lights this year, we’ll just squint until it looks right.
You make the cold winter days warmer, but not the cold floors. Still waiting on that! Merry Christmas.
Wishing you a day filled with joy, laughter, and minimal assembly required. Merry Christmas!
Here’s to hoping that your Christmas socks are just as funky as your everyday ones!
You’re the reason I feel jolly all year round. That, and the endless supply of cookies. Merry Christmas!
Santa called. He’s trading you for the elf that can’t stop laughing. Good trade, right? Merry Christmas!
For Christmas, I’ve decided to leave you alone for a day. Aren’t I the best gift giver ever?
Wishing you a Christmas that’s merry, bright, and nowhere near the toolbox. No fixer-uppers this year!
May this Christmas fill your heart with joy… and your hands with all the cookies you can grab before I get to them.
Merry Christmas! Remember: the best way to spread holiday cheer is by sharing your chocolates. I’m waiting.
So flippin’ excited to spend this Christmas with you. Can’t wait to make some funny moments with you.
I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!
Santa has already given me what I have wished for so long. Now I want him to fill your socks too! Merry Christmas!
Funny Christmas Wishes for Her
Hey, I bought a present to match your sparkle but the sun was sold out! Merry Christmas!
This Christmas, may your joy be larger than Santa’s belly! Have a jolly one!
Santa said you’ve been good this year. I said: ‘Are we talking about the same person?’ Merry Christmas!
Hope your Christmas is as fabulous as your hair on a good day!
Girl, if you were a Christmas tree, you’d be lit 24/7!
I thought about getting you a nice Christmas present, but then I remembered you have me. You’re welcome!
Santa’s making a list and checking it twice, but I already know you’re both naughty and nice!
Merry Christmas! Let’s celebrate by eating too many cookies and taking too many selfies!
Hope your Christmas is as warm and sweet as the hot cocoa I owe you.
Rumor has it that you’re on Santa’s nice list this year. Must’ve been a clerical error. Merry Christmas!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, hope your Christmas day excels! And if it doesn’t, there’s always wine.
Merry Christmas! Here’s to more laughter, fewer returns, and a closet full of clothes that fit!
This Christmas, I wish for you to have as many admirers as there are lights on the Christmas tree!
Bought you an invisible Christmas present because I know you love surprises. Can’t wait for you to open it!
For Christmas, I’ve decided to give you my presence. Lucky you! Merry Christmas.
May your Christmas day be as flawless as your makeup!
This year, may Santa fill your stocking with all the makeup and shoes you’ve been dreaming of. Just don’t forget to leave him a glass of milk and cookies!
If Christmas calories didn’t count, we’d be the jolliest of all. Cheers to another season of eating, laughing, and hiding the scales!
Wishing you a Christmas as bright as your highlighter and as merry as the songs we’ll be belting out together!
Santa might have a sleigh, but you have the slay! Merry Christmas to the most fabulous one out there.
Santa asked me what my heart wanted this Christmas! I told him your name, and he said you’re already in my heart! Merry Christmas!
If I forget to bring presents for you, keep your doors open. Santa will definitely come with a box of chocolates. Merry Christmas!
You’re too young to go to clubs with friends. Pray for gifts from Santa or let’s go on a date this Christmas. Merry Christmas Cutypie!
Wishing for a fat bearded guy to visit me at night is not cool. I’d rather wish it was you in a red gown. Merry Christmas!
I have no money to spend for you on this Christmas but know that I always have time to spend with you this Christmas! I love you!
Christmas is a festival of love and good spirit, so make sure you shower me with lots of love this holiday. Merry Christmas.
Everything grows old, except for You and Santa. Merry Christmas, my love. Sending warm wishes on your way this Christmas!
Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends
I just wanted to let you know that you will be on Santa’s naughty list this year. Merry Christmas!
Stop asking for presents from Santa and be the Santa for the kids around you. Suits your age. Merry Christmas!
Santa told me you are on the good list this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Just kidding! Have a wonderful Christmas!
Remember, calories don’t count at Christmas. Especially if you delete the food pics.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a fat bank account and a slim body. Please don’t mix them up like last year.
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Every time your friend acts up, throw one into the fireplace.
I would say all I want for Christmas is you, but I really would love a new credit card as well!
You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included.
Is it too soon to ask Santa for a vacation from all this holiday cheer?
Wishing you a holiday season free from ugly sweaters and relatives.
Merry Christmas! Let’s get into the holiday spirits – and I mean the kind we can drink!
Let’s celebrate the baby, Jesus, and the miracle of your surviving another year.
If you jingle my bells, I promise you a white Christmas.
May your ugly Christmas sweater be outshone by your even uglier Christmas socks.
Deck the halls with stress and panic, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Just kidding, Merry Christmas!
Wishing you all the jollies you can jingle!
May your Christmas sparkle brighter than your Pinterest boards.
Merry Christmas! May your WiFi be strong, your coffee be strong, and your relatives be tolerable.
Santa saw your Facebook – you’re getting clothes and a dictionary this Christmas!
If a fat man tries to kidnap you, don’t worry. It’s just Santa, I asked for a friend this Christmas!
May the only thing you’re left wanting this Christmas be a waistline!
You’re now at a stage of your life when you really need to ask yourself if you believe in Santa or not! Grow up, man. Merry Christmas!
I’ve just received the bad news. Santa had a heart attack. Cause of death was your name on the good list of this year!
Christmas is the only time when eating candy out of socks is cool! Good luck with your smelly socks and expired candies. Merry Christmas!
May you make it through the priest’s dull speech and join us at the party soon. Have an incredible Christmas!
I’ll declare war if you throw a snowball at me. Let’s make this the happiest Christmas we’ve ever had! Merry Christmas!
Funny Christmas Wishes For Wife
I wrapped your Christmas gift in “Happy Birthday” paper by accident. Then I added “to Jesus” to it. Merry Christmas, wifey!
The true magic of Christmas is when you make my savings disappear without me realizing what happened. You’re truly a blessing in disguise of a wife!
Honey, for Christmas, I bought you a new GPS, because let’s be honest, you really need directions… to the nearest spa day! Merry Christmas!
Why does Santa check his list twice? He probably also has a wife who reminds him to double-check everything.
You light up my life more than the star on top of our Christmas tree. But could you light up the living room too? I can’t find the remote.
I finally got you the best Christmas gift: a whole day without me. But then I realized I couldn’t stay away. You’re welcome!
Merry Christmas! I got you a gift receipt because I know you have a PhD in ‘Returning Gifts’.
Your love is the best Christmas present. But if you also want to get me that new gadget, I wouldn’t complain.
Santa might have his elves, but I have an even better helper: a wife with wrapping skills that could save the North Pole!
I was going to get you a Christmas card, but I spent the money on your present instead. Hope you like socks!
You must be Mrs. Claus in disguise, because only someone as magical as you can make our home feel like the North Pole!
Merry Christmas! I wanted to give you the world, but then I thought you might exchange it for something better.
Honey, do you know how you always say I have selective hearing? Sorry, what were you saying? Oh, Merry Christmas!
Here’s to another Christmas where you make everything look perfect, and I try not to break anything!
I thought of giving you a break from me this Christmas, but then who’d handle the spider in the bathroom?
This year, I’ve decided to get you the same thing you got me for Christmas last year: absolutely no clue yet. Surprise!
Let’s toast to the two best gifts we ever received: each other! (Though, that handbag you’ve been eyeing isn’t a bad choice either.)
Merry Christmas! Thanks for agreeing that what we really want is just two uninterrupted hours of TV.
If you find yourself short on Christmas spirit, I’ve hidden the wine in the laundry room. You’re welcome!
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… but red wine, rose, or even a bubbly will do in a pinch.
Merry Christmas, my love. I’ve tried cooking dinner this year. Spoiler alert: We might need a backup plan.
You said you wanted ‘nothing’ for Christmas. So, I wrapped up this empty box. It’s the thought that counts, right?
Isn’t Christmas meant to be a time for remembering family and guessing everyone’s sizes? Merry Christmas!
The season has finally come for every husband in the world to go broke from being rich finally. Merry Christmas to all the beautiful wives out there.
As I kept an eye on you throughout the year, you have been a good girl. Have a magical Christmas, wifey!
Christmas may well be a season to celebrate for you, but for me, it means trying my ass off to save every single penny I earned this year and make it through to the next year.
Funny Christmas Wishes For Husband
May all your savings doesn’t get spent on Christmas presents but do find me a good deal. Love you, dear husband.
Santa said you’ve been a great one this year. So, he will be giving you free vouchers to clean the house and find random things. Best of luck, hubby.
You’ve been very good this year, but still not good enough for making it to Santa’s good list! Merry Christmas!
Honey, remember that time you said you wanted a surprise for Christmas? Well, I didn’t buy you anything. Surprise!
Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said ‘peace and quiet’. So, you’ll be staying at the North Pole this year!
If Christmas is all about the thought, then I thought about getting you a gift… does that count?
Merry Christmas! I bought you a new alarm clock since ‘the dog ate it’ seems to be your regular excuse.
You must be a Christmas tree, because you light up my life… and occasionally topple over after a few drinks.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you warm up the car, I’ll make Christmas breakfast for you!
You always say you want nothing for Christmas. So I’m trying my best to make your dreams come true!
Why does Santa go down the chimney? He’s trying to find out what you’ve done with all those ‘missing’ socks. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! Here’s hoping you find your keys, wallet, and the remote this festive season.
Santa has a sleigh, but I have something better: a husband who clears snow from the driveway!
Christmas reminds me of you! No, not because of the twinkling lights or the joy… but because you’re slightly crazy and make children laugh.
May your Christmas be filled with joy, love, and fewer assembly-required toys than last year.
They say the best gift is love. So, I saved a ton of money by writing you this card. Merry Christmas!
Honey, you’re the reason I could make Santa’s nice list this year. Well, that and a little bit of bribing!
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with fewer DIY projects. Our house thanks you.
Christmas is the time of year I buy you something you didn’t know you needed until you unwrap it. Can’t wait!
Here’s to hoping our Christmas isn’t as chaotic as your ‘organized’ toolbox!
Merry Christmas! I’ve hidden your gifts somewhere you’ll never look – behind the vacuum cleaner.
This year, let’s try to keep the tree up and our credit card bills down!
Hoping your Christmas is merry, bright, and free from assembling any furniture.
Merry Christmas, the love of my life. After all our fancy Christmas dinners, I enjoy the fact that I am not the only one washing the dishes. Love you.
Our plans for Christmas: Let’s have all the fun of our life and then we’ll both be praying until our credit bills arrive to rip us off. Happy Xmas!
All I want for Christmas is YOU, but as I have already got you, thanks in advance for the hot chocolate on Christmas eve. Merry Christmas, husband dearest.
Funny Christmas Wishes For Girlfriend
All I want for Christmas is you… to not judge my cookie eating habits.
Let’s make a deal: I’ll handle the Christmas lights, and you handle stopping me from eating all the cookies before Christmas day.
Jingle all the way… and please keep your comments to yourself when I wear the same holiday sweater three days in a row.
Remember that Christmas is all about giving… so feel free to give me the bigger half of the dessert.
Let’s get into the Christmas spirit! And by spirit, I mean let’s bake, eat, and watch cheesy movies until we can’t move.
I asked Santa for a girlfriend with patience… looks like I got my wish last year!
All I want for Christmas is you… and maybe that super comfy hoodie of yours.
If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard. So bundle up, it’s gonna get affectionately cold!
Baby, you light up my life more than any Christmas tree. But, just to be clear, I still want a tree.
It’s the season of joy! Which means another season of you tolerating my carol singing. Aren’t you lucky?
They say the best gifts come in small packages. So, I got you… a box of chocolates! Oh, you thought it was something else?
Who needs Santa’s sleigh when I’ve got you to lift up my spirits?
Let’s make a new Christmas tradition: You, me, and a never-ending supply of cookies.
Roses are red, snowflakes are white, when you’re around, my Christmas feels so right!
I’ve checked my list twice, and it turns out you’re both naughty and nice. Lucky me!
This Christmas, I promise to kiss you under the mistletoe… and the door frame, and the kitchen, and the living room…
I was told socks make a great gift. So, you’re getting socks. But the good kind. I promise!
Hoping your Christmas is as warm and sweet as the cocoa I’m going to need you to make for me.
Deck the halls, and be careful with those ornaments! I think one just tried to attack me. Safety first, right?
Our love story is like a Christmas movie – slightly unbelievable, full of miracles, and I keep replaying it in my mind!
You don’t need Santa to get special presents while you have me in life. I am your all-year-long Santa. Be grateful, woman. Love you.
I pray to Lord for your Christmas to be special. Just like your special pie. Dying to taste that in this holiday season.
Hope you won’t mess around much this Christmas and do extreme sports. Love you, my ladybug. Please don’t drink and pass out. Thanks.
I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make a perfect Christmas for me this year!
I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Now, I’m waiting for Santa’s reply. Merry Christmas!
Having you by my side this Christmas means everything extra. Extra food, extra admiration, extra bills- everything. Love you anyway, love.
Funny Christmas Wishes For Boyfriend
For Christmas, I got you my love. I lost the receipt, so no returns, okay?
Hoping you’ve been as good this year as you claim to be. If not, coal might be in your future!
Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is for my boyfriend’s jokes to get better. Too much to ask?
Merry Christmas! May your day be as wonderful as the first time you tried to cook for me.
All I want for Christmas is you… and maybe that hoodie I always steal. Can’t decide.
Santa’s got reindeer, but I’ve got you. I think I got the better deal.
They say Christmas calories don’t count. So, I’m counting on you to finish all those desserts with me!
Under the mistletoe or not, consider yourself warned: Christmas kisses coming your way!
If you sing ‘Last Christmas’ one more time, I’m stealing all your cookies.
Merry Christmas to the guy who knows all my secrets… and still hasn’t run for the hills.
You light up my life, but please don’t attempt to fix the Christmas lights. Remember last year?
This Christmas, I promise not to laugh (much) when you wear that reindeer sweater your grandma made.
They say the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. So, you might want to get some earplugs when I start caroling.
Your love keeps me warmer than a woolen scarf and a cup of hot cocoa. Though, both of those would be great too!
If love was snow, I’d send you a snowstorm. Just a heads up to keep the shovel handy!
Christmas is the season of love, joy, and remembering that you owe me a date night.
They say every snowflake is unique, but honestly, some of your dance moves give them a run for their money.
Keep calm and remember that embarrassing Christmas photo we took last year will probably resurface.
Gifts? Check. Christmas tree? Check. An amazing boyfriend to share the holidays with? Lucky check!”
This Christmas, I’m thankful for you and the fact that you won’t judge me for watching the same holiday movie five times.
Christmas is the time to be with good people. So make a plan to spend the whole Christmas with me. Merry Christmas, love!
I’d like to say that all I want for Christmas is you, but I’d also like a new credit card! Merry Christmas, sweetheart!
Funny Christmas Messages For Colleagues
If there was a ‘Best Colleague to Survive Office Parties With’ award, you’d win it every year! Merry Christmas!
May your holidays be filled with as much joy as you bring to the office… and as much coffee as we need on a Monday morning.
This Christmas, I’ve wished for our boss to finally remember our names. Fingers crossed!
Hope Santa fills your stocking with relaxation, joy, and a new coffee mug. We both know you need the last one.
Merry Christmas! Here’s hoping your festive season isn’t as chaotic as our last team meeting.
The best gift I could get this Christmas is a ‘mute all’ button for our video calls. Just kidding (sort of)!
May your holidays sparkle with joy and laughter. And may you forget all about that presentation for at least a week.
This Christmas, let’s make a pact: We’ll both avoid the office email… at least for a day.
Hoping Santa brings you peace, joy, and a new set of pens because I might have borrowed a few (dozen).
Merry Christmas! Here’s to eating too much, sleeping too much, and not thinking about spreadsheets for a while.
Have a holly, jolly Christmas! And let’s hope it’s the only time of year when ugly sweaters are acceptable attire.
Wishing you a festive season filled with laughter, joy, and no unscheduled conference calls.
May your out-of-office reply ward off all work and your holidays be as sweet as the office candy stash.
It’s that magical time of year when we can blame all our delays on ‘end-of-year wrap-ups.’ Enjoy!
May the Christmas season bring you relaxation, a charged phone, and zero notifications.
Remember, calories during the Christmas party don’t count if we don’t talk about them on Monday.
This Christmas, I’m donating to a very important cause: your ‘new office chair’ fund.
Here’s to hoping that the office Secret Santa finally gets your gift right this year.
Merry Christmas! May your day be filled with joy, love, and no thoughts of the printer jamming again.”
Season’s greetings! Let’s agree to come back to work next year with even more coffee breaks.
Dear colleague, hope you will stop thinking about work this holiday season and actually enjoy it and let us enjoy it. Joking, Merry Christmas.
Wishing you a white Christmas where you will forget about everything and let the snow wash away all your workloads.
Wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Hope the upcoming year you won’t stop giving me har time in the office. JOKING. God bless.
Merry Christmas, dear. Even though we didn’t play secret Santa this year, we would have given you a clock intending to arrive earlier in the office.
Funny Christmas Greetings For Brother / Sister
Merry Christmas bro. This year, let’s kidnap Santa and steal all his gifts. We are never going to end up on his good list anyway!
Merry Christmas to the one who spells Christmas as Xmas and somehow still believes Santa fills his socks every Christmas night!
Funny Christmas Greetings For Brother / Sister
Santa told me you made the naughty list again. Good job, sibling! Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas! I got you the best gift ever – a whole day without my jokes. Enjoy the silence!
Here’s hoping Santa finally gets it right and brings you some new jokes this year. We’ve all heard enough of the old ones!
Remember when you told me Santa wasn’t real? Still holding a grudge. Happy holidays!
Another Christmas and we’re still the best looking people in the family. Some things never change.
Merry Christmas! May your day be filled with joy, laughter, and no flashbacks of our awkward holiday photos.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to remind you that I’m the favorite sibling.
Wishing you all the jingles, all the way. And remember, I’m still the star on top of our family tree!
Merry Christmas! Just a reminder that if Santa doesn’t get you what you want, there’s always next year to be a little less annoying.
Here’s to another year of us ruining the family photos. Merry Christmas!
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… but if we run out of white wine, red will do. Cheers, sibling!
Santa saw your Instagram. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
May your Christmas be merry and bright. And may our fights remain silent for the night.
This year, I promise not to tell the little ones about our epic Santa trap fail from ’95. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! Let’s agree that I’ll bake the cookies, and you can explain to Santa why they’re gone before he arrives.
They say that Christmas is all about being with those you love. So, I guess you just made the cut! Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to the sibling who has the uncanny ability to regift without getting caught.
Wishing you a festive season filled with joy, laughter, and no reminders of that one time you broke Mom’s favorite ornament.
All I want for Christmas is… for you to remember where you hid my presents this time.
Merry Christmas! May your day be filled with love, joy, and a new sibling… Just kidding! One of you is more than enough.
Ever wonder why Santa does not fill your socks anymore? Because you are not a kid anymore! Grow Up!
You and Santa are similar in many ways. Both are fat, wear red and are relevant for just a day in a year! 25th December!
This Christmas, buy yourself some gifts, because nobody cares and even Santa doesn’t know that you exist.
Merry Christmas bro. This year, let’s kidnap Santa and steal all his gifts. We are never going to end up on his good list anyway!
Merry Christmas to the one who spells Christmas as Xmas and somehow still believes Santa fills his socks every Christmas night!
Funny Christmas Greetings
I know you are grouchy, but I wish your Christmas to be merry! Best wishes to you!
It’s hard to smile when your wallet runs out of cash but still, Merry Christmas and good luck on fulfilling the wishes of you kids!
It’s time to enjoy the holiday, spend some real cash, and realize in the end that money is everything that we ever wanted from Santa.
Please allow Jesus to Come and Bless people in Church on Christmas; if he sees you there, he may not. So come here and have a party with me; Merry Christmas to you!
Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have a great decoration there. But I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!
I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Even Santa would bully you this for being so fat! Merry Christmas!
I think Santa must ride a plane instead of a sleigh so that he can reach me faster. I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him.
Anyone who believes that men are equal to women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
You are allowed to have an awesome Christmas as long as I have my presents waiting at my doorstep. Have a great time!
Funny Christmas Captions
Santa Clause exists, and he has to work during the holidays. How pathetic!
May your Christmas be as extravagant as the costumes on Santa this year. #MerryChristmas
Brace yourself for the biggest surprise of the year; the magical disappearance of your yearly savings!
Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to cutbacks, toys not included.”
Christmas is the festival of love and spirit. So let us drink the spirit to feel love; Merry Christmas too!
Do not spend all of your savings in one day over this lovely holiday. Merry Christmas!
Funny Christmas Quotes
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening
“You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.” – Haven Gillespie
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller
“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White
“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” – Joan Rivers
“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar
“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.” – Robert Paul
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde
“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis
“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” – Richelle Goodrich
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking? – Arlo Guthrie
“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn
