200+ Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages and Greetings

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Funny Christmas Wishes: Christmas is much more than just decking the halls with ornaments, celebrating with friends, and stuffing our faces with holiday treats. It is about sharing the same delight and satisfaction that we experience on a personal level.

The joy of Christmas would be lacking without Christmas wishes. The ideal Christmas greeting suggestions for making your loved one smile are funny Christmas wishes. So, send your buddy, girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, and others amusing Christmas wishes, SMS, and quotes to make them smile.

Don’t miss the opportunity to greet your loved ones a Merry Christmas with some of your clever humor. You can also use these messages as amusing Christmas card messages if you like. These wonderfully crafted funny Christmas wishes will definitely make your Christmas holiday card stand out.

Funny Christmas Wishes

May your Christmas be as fat, happy, and plentiful as Santa’s! Merry Christmas!

I hope your Christmas credit card bill is as enormous as your smiles! I hope you have a lot of fun and luck. Happy Holidays!

Until you discover your name on Santa’s naughty list, enjoy this Christmas. I hope you enjoy your holiday!

Christmas is primarily for kids. But until the credit card bills come in, we grownups may still enjoy it!

Keep a smile on your face and have fun. Because after Christmas, nobody will care if you’re real or not!

I hope Santa doesn’t find all the faults you have been keeping under the blanket. Merry Christmas, dear.

This Christmas is all about feeling special. I hope you spend this Christmas drinking to the point that you completely forget you’re a loser!

Just wanted you to know that you have literally no chance of ending up on the good list of Santa this year. Merry Christmas to you!

This time of year should make you feel special and cared for because once it is over, no one will give a damn whether you even exist. Merry Christmas!

Christmas really is a time of wonders. My entire savings just vanishes because of it! Merry Christmas! That is the essence of Christmas enchantment.

This Christmas, I merely want to warn you not to drink too much because I won’t be around to drive you home. Merry Christmas to you all!

I hope Santa brings us cash instead of presents and toys in our stockings. I’m sure you have the same aspirations. Happy Christmas to you!

Some people have a great year in life and some years have bad people in them. Are you feeling sorry yet? Just kidding. May your Christmas be full of fun!

I prayed that Santa would give you wings this Christmas so you can fly and disappear from the earth forever. Just kidding. Merry Christmas!

You know your life sucks when you have to wait the entire year for Santa to bring you some presents because apparently, no one care to give you a present.

May you survive the priest’s boring speech in the church and join me at the party as soon as possible. Merry Christmas!

Christmas teaches us to be hard-working and dedicated. Remember, Even Santa has to work on holidays!

The reason why everyone makes wishes every Christmas is that no one’s wish ever comes true! Making Christmas wishes is just a custom! Merry Christmas!

I hope your celebration will be big and your bill will be small this Christmas. Have a joyful Christmas!

As you all prepare to send me Christmas wishes one by one, let me remind you all that sending cash money can be an alternative too!

To all my friends, Merry Christmas and congratulations again for not ending up on Santa’s good list.

The main focus of Christmas is quality time with excellent people. So make sure you stay with me all day tomorrow. Happy christmas, my love!

Your thoughtful Christmas greetings have really warmed my heart. My eyes would also be pleased if you sent me some presents. I’ll be here waiting!

Christmas is not only for praying and praising. But for drinking and messing around also. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send me lots of cash this Christmas. Thank you!

Yours was the most wonderful Christmas greeting of all. However, you are the one who should be filling my socks at Christmas, not my inbox!

Yes, Santa clause does exist and his beards are fake. He appears once a year because the rest of the days he’s just your dad!

Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!

Santa was looking at a painting of a naked woman with leaves covering her body for a long time. Santa asked what are you doing and she answered: Waiting for autumn.

There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

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I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts. Have a fun Christmas!

Listen to my logic, it’s Jesus’ birthday, not yours or mine. So maybe we can skip the buying gift ritual and save money this holiday. Merry Christmas.

Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poisonous cookies you just ate. Thank you.

Is Santa so busy that he cannot find time to groom himself? I think he needs to shave his beard.

Everyone knows the most important part of the Christmas celebration is spending time with family you don’t get to see very often. Then you have an excuse to neglect them for the rest of the year.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends

I know you are grouchy, but I wish your Christmas to be merry! Best wishes to you!

It’s hard to smile when your wallet runs out of cash but still, Merry Christmas and good luck on fulfilling the wishes of you kids!

It’s time to enjoy the holiday, spend some real cash, and realize in the end that money is everything that we ever wanted from Santa.

Please allow Jesus to Come and Bless people in Church on Christmas; if he sees you there, he may not. So come here and have a party with me; Merry Christmas to you!

Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have a great decoration there. But I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!

I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Even Santa would bully you this for being so fat! Merry Christmas!

I think Santa must ride a plane instead of a sleigh so that he can reach me faster. I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him.

Anyone who believes that men are equal to women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

You are allowed to have an awesome Christmas as long as I have my presents waiting at my doorstep. Have a great time!

Christmas is tremendous as we buy gifts for this year’s holiday with next year’s money. Wishing you season’s eating and a bloody good New Year! Merry Christmas!

Santa is looking forward to meeting you- as you’ve been extra good this year. May your wishes come true. Merry Christmas, buddy.

Christmas is the magical time when your parents will go around telling your embarrassing childhood stories to everyone possible, so enjoy this holiday season! Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas! If you truly value me, give me gifts throughout the year instead of the only during the holiday season!

Christmas is fun until you don’t have to clean everything after the party. I hope your Christmas rocks and is full of wonders. Happy X-mas, my dear friend.

Christmas is a competition to see which gives out first; your money or your feet. So, best of luck in this holiday season. I hope your Christmas is the “M” word! (Merry)

May Santa always stop at your house and bring you the special gifts that you have been waiting for. Merry Christmas, mate. Enjoy the holiday seasons.

Christmas season is the only time of the year when you should rather give more attention to your friends and family than to yourself. I’m counting on you to make my Christmas magical!

I hope this Christmas God bless you with a slim figure so that you look a little smarter. I hope Santa won’t cancel my present for being a friend of yours. Merry Christmas, my friend.

Christmas means all about having special present and gifts. But who needs a Christmas gift when they have “me” in their life. Merry Christmas, dear friend. Enjoy yourself.

Finally found the true meaning of Xmas. It’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas! I hope your Christmas celebration is out of the world. Enjoy the holiday season and have lots of fun.

Funny Christmas Message for Husband

May all your savings doesn’t get spent on Christmas presents but do find me a good deal. Love you, dear husband.

Santa said you’ve been a great one this year. So, he will be giving you free vouchers to clean the house and find random things. Best of luck, hubby.

You’ve been very good this year, but still not good enough for making it to Santa’s good list! Merry Christmas!

Happy Birthday to Jesus and I can already hear you screaming for receiving your treasure gift box from me. Love you, too.

So flippin’ excited to spend this Christmas with you. Can’t wait to make some funny moments with you.

I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!

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Santa has already given me what I have wished for so long. Now I want him to fill your socks too! Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, the love of my life. After all our fancy Christmas dinners, I enjoy the fact that I am not the only one washing the dishes. Love you.

Our plans for Christmas: Let’s have all the fun of our life and then we’ll both be praying until our credit bills arrive to rip us off. Happy Xmas!

I wished to be surrounded by good people, not the ones that spoil my mood. But Santa told me that offer was not for married people.

Lob a snowball at me, and I’ll declare war. Let’s make this one the best Christmas for us together! Merry Christmas to you!

Merry Christmas, my darling. I told Santa to put you on the naughty list because you made me angry more than once this year. Just kidding, love you.

I Wish Santa fill your socks with candy and your wallet with money. Have a nice and warm holiday season my love! Merry Christmas to you!

All I want for Christmas is YOU, but as I have already got you, thanks in advance for the hot chocolate on Christmas eve. Merry Christmas, husband dearest.

I wonder what presents I should hope for this Christmas since I have already won the biggest jackpot by marrying you! Merry Christmas, dear husband. Thanks for all the colors that you bring into my life.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Wife

Isn’t Christmas meant to be a time for remembering family and guessing everyone’s sizes? Merry Christmas!

The season has finally come for every husband in the world to go broke from being rich finally. Merry Christmas to all the beautiful wives out there.

As I kept an eye on you throughout the year, you have been a good girl. Have a magical Christmas, wifey!

Christmas may well be a season to celebrate for you, but for me, it means trying my ass off to save every single penny I earned this year and make it through to the next year.

The true magic of Christmas is when you make my savings disappear without me realizing what happened. You’re truly a blessing in disguise of a wife!

I wrapped your Christmas gift in “Happy Birthday” paper by accident. Then I added “to Jesus” to it. Merry Christmas, wifey!

Wishing you a very happy Christmas. If you are wondering what to give me this holiday, money is the answer, just saying.

On this magical season, do not make vanish all your savings in a day. Have an awesome and magical Christmas, my lovely wife.

Congratulations! You are on the list of good people of Santa. Expect low because I have already told him that you made it there because I kept an eye on you. Merry Christmas dear wife.

Merry Christmas to you dear wife. I hope your credit card bills are not as attractive as your nicely put Christmas decoration. Have a great one this year.

May God bless you so that you won’t be wishing for surprises from me all year long. Naah, for you- anything and everything. Merry Christmas.

Let’s not forget to get a lot of love in this holiday season. Isn’t that what the holidays are supposed to be about sharing love!? Merry Christmas to My Wife!

Wife, I hope you don’t spend all your savings on one holiday but if you want to spend it on buying me a present, I will understand. Merry Christmas.

Forget diet and eat as many sweets and candies as you can. Just do not forget to brush your teeth. I value them. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

Nothing in life is merry anymore as you are here to take everything to another level. Joking. Love you, smarty pants. Merry Christmas.

Fun is having you around on my Christmas to-do list. Let’s keep the fun real while having no funereal. Get the pun? Love you. Merry Christmas, darling.

Funny Christmas Wishes For Girlfriend

Darling, if loving you was a full-time job, I would be awarded the best employee every month! But as it’s not, let’s pray for more holidays next year! Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, babe! This year is all about being eco-friendly, so instead of wasting money on useless gifts, I brought you an uncountable amount of love and kisses!

Babe, you told me to buy some decorative pieces, so I covered the whole ceiling with mistletoes! I am sure you’ll appreciate this idea! Merry Christmas!

Having you by my side this Christmas means everything extra. Extra food, extra admiration, extra bills- everything. Love you anyway, love.

You don’t need Santa to get special presents while you have me in life. I am your all-year-long Santa. Be grateful, woman. Love you.

I pray to Lord for your Christmas to be special. Just like your special pie. Dying to taste that in this holiday season.

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Hope you won’t mess around much this Christmas and do extreme sports. Love you, my ladybug. Please don’t drink and pass out. Thanks.

I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make a perfect Christmas for me this year!

I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Now, I’m waiting for Santa’s reply. Merry Christmas!

May your Christmas be spent eating candies and cakes as long as you don’t forget brushing your teeth. Wishing you a Merry Xmas!

Dear girlfriend, hope you won’t have to act fake surprised by receiving my gift this year. May you have a wonderful year ahead.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Boyfriend

Christmas is the time to be with good people. So make a plan to spend the whole Christmas with me. Merry Christmas, love!

I’d like to say that all I want for Christmas is you, but I’d also like a new credit card! Merry Christmas, sweetheart!

Your name has been missing from both the naughty and nice list of Santa. So, I told him to search for your name on his handsome list. I’m sure he will find it there!

Nowadays, you look like Santa with a big tummy and long beard. Guess what, you are going to the gym next year! Happy Holidays!

From the bottom of my heart, all I want this Christmas is you, and all the gifts and candies from you are nothing but a sign of your love for me.

Take my Christmas love and remember to bring me gifts. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, dear! May Santa bring you winning lottery tickets in your socks!

Every time I see you, I think of Santa. You have so many things in common with that big, fat, silly guy except that long-white beard. Merry Christmas dear!

The only rule for you to follow this Christmas; don’t drink too much if I’m not there to carry you home! Merry Christmas!

Hey babe, are you my secret Santa? Cause you just made all my wishes come true! Merry Christmas to you! Can’t wait to spend the day with you!

I prayed to God to bless me with a prince in shining armor, and here He blessed me with you. I got too lucky; you’re just another updated version. Merry Christmas, my super prince.

On this occasion of Christmas, I want to tell you that I love you a ton, and you make me feel like celebrating Christmas all year round. Thank you for being with me. Merry Christmas.

You’re the reason my name is on Santa’s naughty list. If you meet the fatty guy, don’t forget to tell him that I don’t need any gifts as I already have you as my boyfriend. Christmas love.

I always dreamed of a handsome guy as my man. But, the reality is always an eye-opener. I don’t bother anymore to dream such dreams. Now I worship. I worship the man I got to love. You’re handsome beyond my dreamy imagination. Merry Christmas.

Funny Christmas Messages For Colleagues

Dear colleague, hope you will stop thinking about work this holiday season and actually enjoy it and let us enjoy it. Joking, Merry Christmas.

Wishing you a white Christmas where you will forget about everything and let the snow wash away all your workloads.

As Santa is planning to fill your socks with gifts, we are planning to fill your pockets with cash. Enjoy Christmas with your loved ones and come back to the office with double dedication!

Wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Hope the upcoming year you won’t stop giving me har time in the office. JOKING. God bless.

Merry Christmas, dear. Even though we didn’t play secret Santa this year, we would have given you a clock intending to arrive earlier in the office.

May this Christmas be really busy for you as the rest of the year was kinda blah. Have a tremendous time. Lots of love.

Hope you get to drink a lot and feast well in the holiday season. Lose yourself and have a bit more fun. Merry Christmas, my dear coworker.

Funny Christmas Greetings For Brother / Sister

Merry Christmas bro. This year, let’s kidnap Santa and steal all his gifts. We are never going to end up on his good list anyway!

Merry Christmas to the one who spells Christmas as Xmas and somehow still believes Santa fills his socks every Christmas night!

Ever wonder why Santa does not fill your socks anymore? Because you are not a kid anymore! Grow Up!

You and Santa are similar in many ways. Both are fat, wear red and are relevant for just a day in a year! 25th December!

This Christmas, buy yourself some gifts, because nobody cares and even Santa doesn’t know that you exist.