200+ Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages & Greetings

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Funny Christmas Wishes: During the Christmas season, happiness takes over like the snow in winter. It’s a time to celebrate like never before, and what better way to set the mood than with a funny Christmas wish? These humorous Christmas wishes are sure to spread holiday joy and bring smiles to your loved ones.

So, don’t hesitate to infuse your Christmas messages with the magic of witty humor and share them generously with your cherished friends and family. Embrace the festive cheer and make this Christmas season a treasure trove of smiles and laughter.

Funny Christmas Wishes

May your Christmas be as fat, happy, and plentiful as Santa’s! Merry Christmas!

Enjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list. May you have a great holiday!

Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!

I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas; it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas ????

Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic; Merry Christmas!

May your smiles match the size of your Christmas credit card bill! Wishing you good luck and heaps of fun. Merry Christmas!

I hope Santa leaves a lot of presents in front of your door so you can share them with me. Wishing you a merry Christmas.

I heard you received a big fatty bonus from your office. So, I’m coming to celebrate Christmas in your home. Merry Christmas.

Christmas is all about spending time with good people. So make sure you spend the entire day with me tomorrow ???? Merry Christmas, sweetheart!

I hope Santa leaves you more presents than empty cookie wrappers this year. Merry Christmas!

Wishing you a Christmas that’s as bright and colorful as the lights on your neighbor’s over-the-top holiday display!

May your holiday season be filled with so much joy that you forget about all the calories you’re consuming. Merry Christmas!

Santa Claus must be a bodybuilder because he only works out once a year! Enjoy your Christmas workout in gift wrapping and ribbon lifting!

This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included. Merry Christmas!

May your Christmas be as organized as the display aisles at the department stores. Good luck with that!

Remember, if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag this Christmas, don’t panic. I told Santa I wanted a good friend like you!

Christmas calories don’t count, right? So eat, drink, and be merry! (And worry about the gym in January.)

May your Christmas tree be just like your family – perfectly lit and a little bit nuts!

Santa Claus is just another man trying to make it through a #SleighLife crisis. Merry Christmas!

May your holiday season be filled with laughter louder than your uncle’s terrible Christmas jokes.

This year, may your hair stay in place, your wrinkles stay hidden, and your teeth always be white! Merry Christmas, ageless wonder!

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. Enjoy the debt and the presents!

They say Christmas is a time for miracles. So when the ATM asks if you’d like to see your balance, just say, “Yes, please!”

May your Christmas be filled with awkward family photos and embarrassing home videos. Just remember, you can always delete them in January!

Remember, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear. Unless you can’t sing, then just eat lots of cookies and be jolly!

Funny Christmas Messages

Christmas is not only for praying and praising. But for drinking and messing around also. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send me lots of cash this Christmas. Thank you!

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red. Merry Christmas!

May your Christmas be as lit as your Christmas tree lights, and may your laughter be as infectious as your aunt’s famous holiday eggnog!

Christmas is the time of year when you can blame those extra pounds on the holiday cookies and not your lack of self-control. Enjoy!

May your family be functional and all your relatives stay sane this Christmas season. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it!

This year, let’s make a pact to be more like Santa – eat, be jolly, and laugh all the way through the holidays!

The tree is lit, the eggnog is ready, and I’m just here for the presents and the food. Merry Christmas!

I told Santa I’ve been good all year, but he died laughing! Merry Christmas anyway.

Christmas is the season when your electric bill goes up as fast as your weight. Enjoy the holiday glow and the holiday food!

May your Christmas be filled with more love and less awkward family conversations. But let’s face it, they’re unavoidable!

This Christmas, may your family be functional and your batteries included. Merry Christmas!

Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. Enjoy the debt and the presents!

May your holiday season be filled with so much joy that you forget about all the calories you’re consuming. Merry Christmas!

Christmas calories don’t count, right? So eat, drink, and be merry! (And worry about the gym in January.)

Santa Claus must be a bodybuilder because he only works out once a year! Enjoy your Christmas workout in gift wrapping and ribbon lifting!

Remember, if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag this Christmas, don’t panic. I told Santa I wanted a good friend like you!

Yes, Santa clause does exist and his beards are fake. He appears once a year because the rest of the days he’s just your dad!

Santa was looking at a painting of a naked woman with leaves covering her body for a long time. Santa asked what are you doing and she answered: Waiting for autumn.

Funny Replies To Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Is it too late to be good this year?

Thanks for the Christmas wishes! Santa’s still debating my naughty or nice status.

Merry Christmas! I promise to be good for at least the next 5 minutes.

Merry Christmas! If you see Santa, tell him I’m still waiting for that pony.

Thanks for the wishes! I’m hoping Santa accidentally drops a bag of money at my doorstep.

Merry Christmas! May your days be merry and your Christmas cookies be calorie-free.

Merry Christmas! My New Year’s resolution is to start being nice, but I’ll need a head start.

Thanks for the Christmas cheer! I’ll be sure to leave out extra cookies for Santa, just in case.

Merry Christmas! I asked Santa for a six-pack, but I think he misunderstood.

Merry Christmas! May your day be filled with more joy than fruitcake.

Thanks for the wishes! I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… but if the white runs out, I’ll take red.

Merry Christmas! I’m just here for the presents and the cookies.

Merry Christmas! Remember, calories don’t count on Christmas Day.

Thanks for the Christmas greeting! I’ll try not to break any ornaments this year.

Merry Christmas! I’ll be good, but only if ‘good’ includes eating lots of holiday treats.

Merry Christmas! My wish is for Santa to give me the remote control for the entire day.

Thanks for the wishes! If I promise to be good, do I get double the presents?

Merry Christmas! I’ll be nice next year, but let’s not rush things.

Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be filled with awkward family photos.

Thanks for the Christmas wish! I’ll be on my best behavior until the dessert table is set up.

Wishing you and your family a lovely Christmas Eve. May the season make your cheeks pain from laughing and eating.

Thanks! Christmas is becoming so dull as we get older. It’s like, what do we want? A bundle of money? A car? Or a job promotion?

Merry Christmas! Christmas comes once a year, just as my good times come once in a lifetime! Have a joyous Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, too. I tried hard to make Santa believe you are a good company. That’s why he refused to give me my present too.

Thanks for your lovely Christmas wish. Just a quick reminder- don’t waste all your savings on Christmas. Merry Christmas to you, too.

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Merry Christmas to you, too. May you receive loads of money, gifts, and endless opportunities to be on next year’s excellent list.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends

I just wanted to let you know that you will be on Santa’s naughty list this year. Merry Christmas!

Stop asking for presents from Santa and be the Santa for the kids around you. Suits your age. Merry Christmas!

Santa told me you are on the good list this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Just kidding! Have a wonderful Christmas!

May your Christmas be as bright as your holiday sweater and as jolly as your spirit!

Wishing you a Christmas so joyful that even your in-laws are fun to be around!

May your Christmas tree stay upright, unlike your diet plans during the holiday season. Merry Christmas!

Here’s to eggnog, fruitcake, and all the other delicious things we pretend to like this time of year. Cheers!

I hope your Christmas is full of love, laughter, and fewer family arguments than last year!

Remember, calories don’t count during the holidays. So go ahead, have that extra slice of pie!

May your Christmas season be more magical than the awkward silence after you tell a terrible Christmas joke!

Wishing you a Christmas as bright and cheerful as your neighbor’s tacky holiday decorations!

May your holiday season be filled with as much joy as your dog experiences when he sees the squirrel in the backyard.

Sending you warm wishes and good cheer this Christmas, because I heard it’s cheaper than sending gifts!

I hope your Christmas is so merry that the fruitcake actually gets eaten this year!

May your Christmas be as delightful as a new puppy and as exciting as finding an extra slice of pie in the fridge!

Remember, if a big guy in a red suit tries to put you in a bag this Christmas, don’t panic. I asked Santa for a funny friend, and he delivered!

Wishing you a Christmas filled with joy, laughter, and a never-ending supply of batteries for all your new gadgets!

May your Christmas be so wonderful that it becomes a benchmark for future Christmases!

I hope your Christmas is filled with more fun and fewer fruitcakes this year!

May your holiday season be as bright as the Christmas lights and as sweet as the cookies left for Santa. Merry Christmas!

I’ve just received the bad news. Santa had a heart attack. Cause of death was your name on the good list of this year!

Christmas is the only time when eating candy out of socks is cool! Good luck with your smelly socks and expired candies. Merry Christmas!

I’ll declare war if you throw a snowball at me. Let’s make this the happiest Christmas we’ve ever had! Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes For Girlfriend

This Christmas, let’s make a pact not to count calories. We’ll save that for our New Year’s resolutions!

Santa may be making a list and checking it twice, but I only have one thing on my list: you!

You’re the best Christmas gift a guy could ask for, and I promise not to return you!

May your Christmas be as bright as your smile and as sweet as the cookies you bake.

This Christmas, I wish you all the joy, love, and laughter that my heart can hold (which is a lot because it’s filled with you).

I don’t need mistletoe to steal a kiss from you this Christmas. I’ll take one right now, please!

I hope your Christmas is filled with as much happiness as I feel when I’m with you!

Santa must be a magician because he brought me the best gift ever – you!

This Christmas, I promise not to make any jokes about your cooking. Just kidding – I can’t make that promise!

You light up my life like the Christmas tree lights up the living room. Merry Christmas, my shining star!

I asked Santa for the perfect girlfriend, and he delivered you. I guess he really does know everything!

I don’t need a sleigh to take me to heaven this Christmas; all I need is your love.

Let’s celebrate this Christmas like we’re kids again – with excitement, wonder, and lots of candy!

You’re the best present I could ever receive, and I promise to cherish you every day, not just on Christmas.

I can’t imagine a Christmas without you. Well, I can, but it’s just not as much fun.

May your Christmas be as joyful as the sound of your laughter and as bright as your smile!

This Christmas, my wish is simple: to keep you by my side for many more to come. Merry Christmas, my love!

Santa asked me what my heart wanted this Christmas! I told him your name, and he said you’re already in my heart! Merry Christmas!

You don’t need Santa to get special presents while you have me in life. I am your all-year-long Santa. Be grateful, woman. Love you.

Having you by my side this Christmas means everything extra. Extra food, extra admiration, extra bills- everything. Love you anyway, love.

I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make a perfect Christmas for me this year!

I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Now, I’m waiting for Santa’s reply. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes For Boyfriend

This Christmas, let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip. Merry Christmas, my partner in crime!

I asked Santa for a perfect boyfriend, and he gave me you! Clearly, he has a great sense of humor. Merry Christmas!

You make every day feel like Christmas, but today, let’s make Christmas feel like an everyday celebration. Merry Christmas, my joy!

Santa must be jealous of you because you’ve already stolen my heart. Merry Christmas, heart thief!

May your Christmas be as bright as the star on top of the tree and as warm as my love for you. But if it gets too hot, let me know—I’ll turn down the thermostat!

I hope your Christmas is as sweet as the cookies we’ll bake together, and as exciting as unwrapping the presents I got for you. Just don’t expect any from Santa—I stole them all!

On this Christmas, let’s promise not to argue over where to hang the mistletoe. It’s going right above your head! Merry Kiss-mas!

This year, I’m giving you the gift of my presence. You better appreciate it, because it’s the best gift anyone can ever give! Merry Christmas!

I love you more than eggnog and candy canes, and that’s saying something because I really love those! Merry Christmas, my sweet treat!

May your Christmas be as bright and joyful as the smile you put on my face. And that’s pretty darn bright and joyful!

They say Christmas is a time for miracles. Well, you being in my life is proof that miracles happen. Merry Christmas, my miracle!

You’re the only present I want under my tree this year. Sorry, Santa, but you can take the night off! Merry Christmas, my love!

Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip. I mean, who needs a chubby old man in a red suit when I have you?

If you were a Christmas tree, you’d be the most dazzling one in the forest. Merry Christmas to my shining star!

I promise not to sing Christmas carols off-key this year if you promise not to steal all the cookies. Deal? Merry Christmas!

This Christmas, let’s snuggle up and watch cheesy holiday movies together. I promise not to judge your taste in movies, as long as you promise to share the popcorn!

Roses are red, snow is white, and spending Christmas with you just feels so right. Merry Christmas, my dear!

Christmas is the time to be with good people. So make a plan to spend the whole Christmas with me. Merry Christmas, love!

I’d like to say that all I want for Christmas is you, but I’d also like a new credit card! Merry Christmas, sweetheart!

Your name has been missing from both the naughty and nice list of Santa. So, I told him to search for your name on his handsome list. I’m sure he will find it there!

Funny Christmas Wishes For Wife

They say Christmas is a time for giving, so I gave you the remote control. Let the binge-watching begin! Merry Christmas!

You make every day feel like a holiday, especially when you cook your special Christmas dinner. Just remember, it’s the thought that counts!

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Honey, I love you more than eggnog, and that’s saying something because I really love eggnog. Merry Christmas!

You’re the gift that keeps on giving, especially when you let me have the last piece of pie. Merry Christmas, my sweet!

May your Christmas be as bright as the twinkle in your eye when you see presents under the tree. Or at least as bright as our electric bill after decorating the house!

I promise not to complain about your Christmas decorations this year, as long as you promise not to make me wear that embarrassing Christmas sweater. Deal?

This Christmas, let’s put up the mistletoe and see if we can break last year’s kissing record. I’m up for the challenge! Merry Christmas, my love!

They say Christmas is about family, so let’s remember that when we’re stuck in a 3-hour-long family dinner. At least we have each other to sneak away with!

Let’s enjoy this Christmas like a couple of kids – stay up late, eat too many cookies, and hope we don’t get coal in our stockings!

I hope your Christmas is as joyful as the laughter we share, and as warm as the love we have for each other. But if you get cold, you can always snuggle with me!

This Christmas, let’s promise to keep our sense of humor intact, even when the in-laws are testing it. Cheers to surviving another family gathering!

You’re the twinkle in my eye and the star on my Christmas tree. Merry Christmas to the most wonderful wife in the world!

Remember, dear, Christmas calories don’t count when you’re celebrating with the one you love. So let’s eat, drink, and be merry!

I’d wrap up all the love in my heart and give it to you for Christmas, but I think you already stole it a long time ago. Merry Christmas, my heart thief!

Let’s make this Christmas the best one yet – filled with love, laughter, and lots of cheesy holiday movies. You’re the best co-star in my life!

They say Christmas is about giving, but I’ve already given my heart to you. So, what more could you possibly want? Merry Christmas, my love!

The true magic of Christmas is when you make my savings disappear without me realizing what happened. You’re truly a blessing in disguise of a wife!

Merry Christmas, darling! Don’t worry about the Christmas calories. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

Dearest wife, I’ve got the perfect Christmas gift – I’ll do the dishes, and you relax. After all, miracles do happen at Christmas, right?

This Christmas, I wanted to get you something thoughtful, beautiful, and expensive… then I remembered you already have me as a husband. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes For Husband

May all your savings doesn’t get spent on Christmas presents but do find me a good deal. Love you, dear husband.

Santa’s not the only one making a list and checking it twice. I’ve got my eye on those Christmas cookies, my dear hubby!

This Christmas, let’s remember that “silent night” is just code for “the kids are finally asleep.” Wishing you a peaceful holiday season, dear husband!

I promise not to sing off-key carols if you promise not to critique my wrapping skills. Deal? Merry Christmas, my loving critic!

They say Christmas is about giving, so here’s to hoping you’ll “give” me the TV remote for a day. Happy Holidays, my remote controller!

Christmas calories don’t count, right? So, let’s indulge in all the holiday treats guilt-free. I’m ready for a feast, my sweet husband!

Dear husband, may your Christmas sweater be ugly, but your heart be full of warmth and laughter. Happy Holidays, my fashion-forward love!

Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip this year. Merry Christmas, my partner in crime!

This Christmas, may our love be as unbreakable as the ornaments on our tree (except for that one that always breaks). Love you, my unbreakable husband!

Wishing you a Christmas filled with joy, laughter, and minimal dad jokes. Oops, too late! Merry Christmas, my pun-tastic hubby!

Christmas is the season of magic, and you, my dear husband, are the magic in my life. Just don’t expect me to pull a rabbit out of a hat! Happy Holidays!

Let’s celebrate this Christmas with love, laughter, and the occasional embarrassing family photo. Cheers to us, my photogenic hubby!

May our love be like tinsel – shiny, sparkly, and impossible to untangle. Merry Christmas, my dear tangled partner!

This Christmas, let’s stay up all night wrapping presents and pretending we’re Santa. Just don’t forget the milk and cookies! Love you, my jolly husband.

Dear husband, you’re the mistletoe to my kiss and the icing on my gingerbread cookies. Let’s make this holiday season sweet and unforgettable!

May your Christmas be as bright as your smile when you open your presents. Get ready for a joyful day, my happy hubby!

They say laughter is the best gift, so here’s to hoping I can make you laugh until your belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly. Merry Christmas, my jolly husband!

This Christmas, let’s stay warm by cuddling in front of the fireplace – and by staying far, far away from the fruitcake. Love you, my toasty partner!

Dear husband, you’re the star on my Christmas tree and the twinkle in my eye. Let’s make this holiday season truly magical. Merry Christmas!

All I want for Christmas is YOU, but as I have already got you, thanks in advance for the hot chocolate on Christmas eve. Merry Christmas, husband dearest.

Funny Christmas Messages For Colleagues

Wishing you a white Christmas where you will forget about everything and let the snow wash away all your workloads.

Dear colleague, hope you will stop thinking about work this holiday season and actually enjoy it and let us enjoy it. Joking, Merry Christmas.

This Christmas, may your office Secret Santa gift be better than your annual performance review! Happy Holidays, colleague!

Dear colleague, let’s make a pact to not talk about work at the office holiday party. It’s called a “party” for a reason! Merry Christmas!

May your Christmas be as bright as the office Christmas lights and as stress-free as the last day of the year! Enjoy the festive season, coworker.

Wishing you a holiday season so relaxing that even your inbox takes a break from new emails. Have a stress-free Christmas, colleague!

Dear coworker, may your holiday season be filled with more laughter than office meetings and more cookies than conference calls. Merry Christmas!

This Christmas, may you find your desk buried under a mountain of gifts instead of paperwork. Enjoy the holiday surprises, colleague!

Let’s hope that this Christmas, Santa brings you the gift of a stress-free workweek and a well-deserved break. Happy Holidays, dear colleague!

Dear coworker, here’s to hoping your holiday season is more “ho-ho-ho” than “to-do” list. Merry Christmas and a joyful New Year!

May your Christmas party outfit be as festive as your holiday spirit, and may your eggnog be strong enough to help you forget about the office printer jams. Cheers, colleague!

Wishing you a Christmas filled with so much laughter that your coworkers wonder if you’ve lost your mind. Enjoy the festive madness, dear colleague!

This Christmas, may you receive more holiday cheer than office memos. Happy Holidays, and let’s celebrate the season together, colleague!

Dear colleague, may your holiday season be as sweet as the office candy bowl and as bright as the office holiday decorations. Merry Christmas!

Let’s make a resolution to not talk about work during the holiday break – unless it’s about how much we love our time away from the office! Happy Holidays, coworker!

May your Christmas be filled with more joy than the office microwave timer going off before your food is done heating. Enjoy the festivities, colleague!

Dear coworker, may your holiday season be so enjoyable that you forget what your desk even looks like. Cheers to a fantastic Christmas!

This Christmas, may your office chair feel comfier than your usual desk chair, and your workload feel lighter than a snowflake. Merry Christmas, colleague!

Wishing you a holiday season so relaxing that you’ll need a reminder that the office even exists. Have a blissful Christmas, dear colleague!

Funny Christmas Wishes For Family Members

Ever wonder why Santa does not fill your socks anymore? Because you are not a kid anymore! Grow Up!

Merry Christmas bro. This year, let’s kidnap Santa and steal all his gifts. We are never going to end up on his good list anyway!

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This Christmas, let’s remember that family is like a fruitcake – nutty, sweet, and sometimes a little too mixed up! Love you all!

Dear family, let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip this year. After all, we’ve got each other for some mischievous fun!

May your holiday season be filled with more laughter than Uncle Bob’s funny stories and fewer awkward moments at the dinner table. Merry Christmas, family!

Wishing you a Christmas as colorful as Aunt Susan’s ugly sweater collection and as bright as Grandpa’s holiday lights display. Enjoy the festivities!

This Christmas, let’s put the “merry” in Merry Christmas and the “joy” in family gatherings. Cheers to us, my fun-loving clan!

Dear family, let’s make a pact to not talk about politics during Christmas dinner. It’s the season of peace, not debates! Merry Christmas!

May your Christmas stockings be filled with more treats than tricks and your holiday season be as delightful as Mom’s homemade pie. Happy Holidays, family!

This Christmas, let’s not count calories, but instead, count the number of times we burst into spontaneous laughter. Enjoy the holiday feasting, relatives!

Dear family, may your holiday season be so magical that you start believing in the Elf on the Shelf’s spy abilities. Have a whimsical Christmas!

Let’s celebrate this Christmas with love, laughter, and more ugly Christmas sweaters than you can shake a candy cane at. Merry Christmas, family!

May your Christmas tree be as tall as our family tree and your holiday spirit be as boundless as our love for each other. Happy Holidays, my dear kin!

Dear family, let’s create more wonderful memories this Christmas season and fewer embarrassing stories to recount at future family gatherings. Cheers to us!

May your holiday season be as peaceful as a silent night and as joyous as the sound of kids ripping open their presents. Enjoy the festivities, relatives!

This Christmas, let’s all agree that we’re on Santa’s “nice” list because we’re family, and he has a sense of humor. Merry Christmas, my wonderful bunch!

Dear family, may your Christmas be filled with love, laughter, and enough holiday cheer to last us until next year. Happy Holidays to the best family ever!

Funny Christmas Greeting Card Messages

I know you are grouchy, but I wish your Christmas to be merry! Best wishes to you!

Christmas calories don’t count, so eat, drink, and be happy – it’s the scientifically proven holiday rule!

Santa may have the sleigh, but I’ve got the snacks! Let’s get festive and have a ho-ho-hilarious Christmas!

Remember, Santa only brings gifts to the nice ones. It looks like you’re safe – for now! Merry Christmas, you slightly naughty friend!

May your Christmas be as bright as your neighbor’s extravagant holiday decorations and as joyful as a kid on a sugar rush. Enjoy the festive season!

Let’s make a pact this Christmas to not mention calories and just enjoy the sweet, sugary treats guilt-free. Cheers to holiday indulgence!

Wishing you a Christmas as bright as your future, as cheerful as your favorite holiday movie, and as warm as a cup of hot cocoa by the fireplace. Happy Holidays!

May your Christmas tree be as perfectly decorated as your Pinterest board and your holiday spirit be as contagious as your laughter. Merry Christmas!

Dear friend, this Christmas, let’s not count the calories, but let’s count the smiles and laughter shared with loved ones. Enjoy the festive feasting!

May your Christmas be as delightful as finding a parking spot right in front of the mall during the holiday rush. Cheers to a stress-free holiday season!

Wishing you a Christmas filled with more joy than a kid opening a mountain of presents and more peace than a cat napping by the fireplace. Happy Holidays!

Dear friend, let’s make this Christmas season merrier by indulging in cookies, chocolates, and other delicious goodies until our pants beg for mercy!

May your Christmas be as cozy as a warm blanket on a cold winter’s night and as bright as your smile when you open your presents. Merry Christmas!

Let’s celebrate this Christmas with love, laughter, and more cheesy holiday music than you can shake a jingle bell at. Enjoy the festivities!

May your holiday season be as stress-free as finding the perfect gift for that one person who has everything. Happy Holidays, my gift-giving guru!

Dear friend, this Christmas, let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip. After all, we’ve been good all year… except for that one time! Merry Christmas!

Wishing you a Christmas so fantastic that even the Grinch would crack a smile. Enjoy the holiday magic, my cheerful friend!

May your Christmas be as wonderful as that first sip of eggnog and as joyful as a kid playing in freshly fallen snow. Happy Holidays!

Dear friend, let’s not take life too seriously this Christmas. Instead, let’s enjoy the festivities, laughter, and of course, the eggnog. Merry Christmas!

May your holiday season be filled with more laughter than fruitcake jokes and more love than the number of ornaments on your Christmas tree. Happy Holidays!

Let’s make this Christmas memorable with laughter, love, and a dash of silliness. After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year! Merry Christmas, my funny friend!

Funny Christmas Captions

Santa Clause exists, and he has to work during the holidays. How pathetic!

May your Christmas be as extravagant as the costumes on Santa this year. #MerryChristmas

Brace yourself for the biggest surprise of the year; the magical disappearance of your yearly savings!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder how many cookies you’ll eat by the Christmas bar.

Naughty or nice, I’m just here for the holiday treats and festive lights.

If you can’t find me during Christmas, check by the dessert table. #HolidayGoals

Santa, please stop here. We need more wine for Christmas cheer!

Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle. It’s only Christmas!

May your Christmas sweaters be ugly and bright, just like your holiday spirit.

Me: “I need to start my Christmas shopping.” Also me: Buys something for myself

‘Tis the season to be jolly… and by jolly, I mean stuffed with cookies and pie!

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.

Dear Santa, please send more cookies and fewer calories this year.

Santa’s sleigh isn’t the only thing making trips this Christmas. #ShoppingSpree

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loudly for all to hear… or just turning up the volume on your favorite holiday playlist.

Christmas calories don’t count, right? Asking for a friend…

Santa, I can explain… No, actually, I can’t. #NaughtyList

May your days be merry and bright, and may your coffee be strong enough to deal with holiday shenanigans.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the one searching for hidden presents.

Forget the mistletoe; I’m here for the cookies! #ChristmasPriorities

Funny Christmas Quotes

“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller

“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White

“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” – Joan Rivers

“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.” – Robert Paul

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde

“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis

“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” – Richelle Goodrich

“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz

“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn