200+ Funny Valentine Messages, Wishes & Quotes

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Funny Valentine Messages: Valentine’s day is all about putting a smile on someone’s face. And when it comes to spreading fun and laughter, funny valentine’s messages can be your magic trick. Send some hilarious and funny valentine’s day wishes to your lover, friends and coworkers to make them laugh.

Funny Valentine’s day wishes are the best wishes that you can use to cheer up your single friends with a little but sublime touch of humor and fun. They’ll smile and they’ll laugh like never before! If you were searching for some funny things to write in a valentine’s day wish, you are on the right page.

Here, we have a compilation of funny valentine’s day messages and wishes for your loved ones. Type and send them to their phone as a valentine’s day text message to cheer them up. You can also use these messages as valentine’s day card messages or valentine’s day quotes for lovers and friends! You may share these funny valentine messages on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any other social media you like!

Funny Valentine Day Messages

Whoever said Valentine’s day is only for lovers? I love you my best friend! Happy Valentine’s day.

Valentine’s day is the perfect day to tell you those three special words… Let’s get naked!

I need to upgrade the power of my glasses because I’m blindly in love with you.

Love will make you feel fifteen at the age of fifty. So be in love always. Happy valentine’s day.

I always searched for someone to live with, but I ended up finding the person I cannot live without. Happy Valentine!

Everyone should have a boyfriend like you, why should I put up with your stupidity alone! Happy valentine’s day.

My love for you will be the same even when you’ll have no teeth left and no hair black. Happy Valentine!

I am sorry that I can’t give you my heart this year as I have another thumping organ for you if you’re interested in it.

On this valentine’s day, if you don’t have anyone, don’t be sad. Just know that you’re not the only one.

I guess you didn’t steal my heart; you completely grabbed me from me! Happy Valentine’s day.

Have all the fun with your valentines but don’t forget that the night is for us getting drunk together & doing shits like no one ever does!

Just think if the cupid missed his goal and shoot someone else for you. No, I would not let him do that. Happy Valentine’s Day dear.

This valentine I cannot give you my heart because I have given it to you when I first met you. Interested in having my kidney? Happy Valentine’s Day.

Well, true love originates from the heart and runs through the veins. Don’t let it become too sweet because it can give you diabetes. Happy Valentine’s Day.

I was wondering if she knows about all your secret valentines or is she just another ‘beautiful but dumb’ doll. Just kidding! Happy Valentine’s Day!

If you feel lonely today, just remind yourself that yesterday you felt the same as today, and tomorrow will not be different either. Happy valentine’s day!

The best way to spend this valentine’s day for me is to spend it with the love of my life – food. Wishing happy valentines day to you!

I am not saying that I care about money more than I do about you. But it’s my father’s advice to spend my money on good purposes only! Happy Valentine’s Day!

You don’t need flowers to smell sweet and don’t need ornaments to look beautiful. And then I thought you don’t need a valentine’s day either to be loved!

You cannot define love in one word and you cannot celebrate love in one day. That’s why I don’t have any plans with you on this Valentine’s Day!

Today, let us celebrate the early demise of all men in promoting love just like Saint Valentine did before his own sad demise!

I like the way you chew my mind like a bar of chocolate. It’s just a matter of days before I become brain-dead because of your love!

I have found my way back to your heart like a stray dog finds his way back home. Thank you for letting me in every time. Happy valentine’s day!

Loving you is my job and every job holder needs the motivation to work. Can I have some motivation tonight? Happy valentine’s day!

I hate valentine’s day because it makes me feel lonely and disconnected from the world. But I do like the memes. So yeah, keep sending me those!

Funny Valentine Wishes for Wife

I don’t buy flowers for you because I know there’s no flower in this world beautiful enough to be your valentine gift!

I still can’t believe that I’m married to the prettiest lady on the planet. So I’m just going to ask you again, ‘’would you be my Valentine?’’

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It would be pathetic to spend Valentine’s Day being single. So, thanks for saving me from that, I guess.

Happy Valentine’s Day, wife! You are so hot that sometimes I wonder if you are made of flesh or fire!

I have the most beautiful girl in my life, and I also have you! Just kidding, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you, baby! You are the yin to my yang, the Bonnie to my Clyde, the fun to my boring life! I love you forever and always!

If I had a dollar for each time I think of you every day, we’d be millionaires long ago! Thank you for letting me love you, honey. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Every Valentine’s Day is another reason for you to be thankful for having a good husband like me! I love you!

I love the way you ask me about what I got you for Valentine’s Day even though you have my wallet.

Today is the perfect day for us to pretend that you love flowers and hugs. Happy Valentine’s Day Honey.

Love is a weird thing. It is hard to love and be intelligent at the same time. Thank you for making it easy! Happy Valentine’s Day.

My head is always spinning with your love, Happy Valentine’s Day. My beloved, you are the mighty Queen of my heart and I like it this way.

You fill the space when my heart skips a beat. Thank you for always having my back. Happy Valentine’s Day, darling.

I was thinking of having a valentine’s party with my friends but then I realized I have a wife. Happy Valentine’s Day my dear!

Relationships are all about mutual efforts. For example, I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day, you bring me a present.

Your love made me so blind to the point that I no longer see a big credit card bill is coming! Thanks to this Valentine’s Day and thanks to you my dear!

Happy Valentine’s Day my darling. Love like this was carefully crafted in Valens’s den, never heard of it; maybe I’ll take you there someday!

You may have many Valentine’s Days in your life, but you’ll only have one perfect husband like me in your whole life. Be thankful!

Shower me with love and gifts, or else, you might have to spend the next Valentine’s Day being single and desperate!

Before I met you, Valentine’s Day was just like every normal day, and it’s still a normal day, just kidding. Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you.

Love can’t be celebrated in one day, and love can’t be defined with one word, that’s why I didn’t make plans for you this Valentine Day.

I used to have my heart intact, until you came and stole it from me, I’m going to get it back, but before I do, Happy Valentine’s Day.

Today is another day for you to remind me that I am married to the most beautiful woman on earth, even though we all know I’m the gorgeous one.

Funny Valentine’s Day Wishes for Husband

Marrying me is already the greatest gift of your life. What else do you look for?

Hope you know that you are fortunate to have me as your wife and vice versa. Love you tons.

You are the Tarzan of my life because you always hang there for me. I love you dear husband, Happy Valentin’s Day.

May God fill your heart with love and the wallet with money for your beautiful wife. Happy Valentine Day!

I will always wonder what you would do if you had not married a gorgeous like me. Happy Valentine’s Day my handsome man!

Do you know why I’m the luckiest woman alive? Because I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Happy Valentine’s Day, dear husband.

Constant nagging of your drives me crazy. Do you know what else makes me crazy? Your love! Happy Valentine’s Day Hubby!

I am wishing you as a reminder that you should give me a diamond this year. Just Kidding. You are my diamond. Happy Valentine day husband.

A few years from now, you will be busy changing the diaper. So, enjoy this Valentine’s day to the fullest without any chores. Happy Valentine’s day dear husband.

Dear husband, I know you are a smart person, and a smart person like you must buy his beautiful wife some gifts on this valentine’s day. Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.

Funny Valentines Messages for Boyfriend

Can’t believe I know all your bad and weird habits, yet I still love you like crazy.

I wish I could wrap up myself putting in a gift box for your valentine’s day gift.

I’m so in love with you that my love turned you a prince from a frog. Happy valentine’s day.

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Thanks to me being so beautiful, we make the most gorgeous couple. Happy Valentine’s Day.

A date with you? No thanks, I would rather have an apple by myself alone. Happy valentine’s day!

You are just as much weird as me. That makes us a perfect couple. Happy valentine’s day to my crazy one!

Happy Valentine’s Day. Here is the list of things you should buy me because you are the best boyfriend in the entire world.

The world is filled with so many people with so little love. Tonight, let’s make some love together. Happy valentine’s day!

I love you so much, I could steal the moon for you, but for now, here I stole chocolates. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Darling, I think we will have a great time together today. Just don’t forget to spend some time on dental cleaning. Happy valentine’s day!

Buy me chocolates and flowers today, or tonight you dine alone. The choice is yours, darling. Happy valentine’s day to you with love!

Want to know my plan for today? Getting you arrested for stealing my heart. Happy valentine’s day, my love!

If you can’t buy happiness with money, try buying a valentine’s gift for me. It will work like magic. I can guarantee you that!

When people ask me what the best thing about you is, I say nothing. I don’t want them to fall in love with you. Happy valentine’s Day!

I would say you are my favorite thing about Valentine’s Day but then I remember chocolates exist. So, you are my second favorite thing about Valentine’s Day.

I love you like a lazy guy loves his bed in the morning. I want you like a monkey wants a banana and I crave for you as a fat boy craves for chocolates.

Hey babe, every day I fall more in love with you more than the day before. Except on those days, you really piss me off. Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.

You cannot define love in one word and you cannot celebrate love in one day. That’s why we don’t need Valentine’s day to celebrate. I love you every day my love.

Doing absolutely nothing with you means absolutely everything to me, babe! Happy Valentine’s Day to my darling. Let’s have our adventure on this Valentine day.

Funny Valentine Messages for Girlfriend

It is hard to be wise and a lover at the same time while loving you. Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart!

I don’t usually hang out on valentine’s day, but when I do, I make sure It’s with someone so gorgeous as you!

I was single and sad. And then I met you and realized being single was not so bad. Just kidding! Happy valentine’s day, my love!

My healthcare plan does not cover the broken heart. So please don’t leave me ever. Happy valentine’s day!

Our love will last forever. Do you know why? Because it was made in heaven, not in China! Wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day!

I knew falling for you would be much safer than falling from a tree. Indeed, it was! Thank you for your love and warmth. Happy valentine’s day!

You may have many Valentine’s Days in your life, but you’ll only have one perfect boyfriend like me in your whole life. Be thankful for what you have!

Some people donate money, some donate blood and some even donate their kidneys. But for you, I’ve donated my heart. Keep it safe always!

Your body is the sweetest candy, and the best thing is it would never cause my teeth any cavity. Happy Valentine’s Day, Beautiful.

You are my best girlfriend ever, but above all, you are my best doctor. Your views and love keep my mental health sound. Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.

Every Valentine with you is awesome except for the restaurant part. Just kidding! Not every Valentine with is awesome; some are just meaningless!

Wishing a beautiful valentine’s day to the world’s best girlfriend who does not fart under the blanket. LOL – Lots of Love.

This is an occasion of love and sacrifice. Not an occasion for lazy girlfriends to spend their Bf’s money in fancy restaurants! Happy Valentine’s Day!

You must be a magician because whenever I look at you, the entire world disappears. Wishing you a sweet valentine’s day!

I don’t need a lot of candies this valentine’s day because I’m on a diet. You can buy me diamonds instead!

I just found out that I have fallen in love more deeply than I had originally planned. You can take this as a valentine’s day confession from me!

I wish I could wrap all my love for you in a box and send you as a gift on this valentine’s day. But I couldn’t send it because there is not such a big box to carry all my love for you.

Happy valentine’s day my love. Can you help me find the cheapest dinner plan for the two of us tonight? I’ll be forever grateful to you for that!

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What if I told you that you cleaning up all the dishes seduces me more than you whining about a candlelight dinner on valentine’s day?

Before our relationship, you told me you ain’t got time for valentine’s day. Well, I’ve just realized that you lied about that. Happy valentine’s day anyway!

Girl, are you a library book? Because I can’t stop looking for you! Loving you is a weird thing and a roller coaster ride for me. Happy Valentine’s day!

I wish I could strip your clothes off tonight like the way you strip a bar of wrapped chocolate. I really wish I was with you tonight. Happy valentine’s day sweetheart!

Funny Valentine Messages For Coworkers/Colleagues

May this Valentine’s Day bring you another girlfriend with another pack of annoyances! Haha!

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear colleague! Now give me a gift so that I can forward it to my girlfriend from me! Lol!

Take care of yourself, my dear coworker! It’s Valentine’s Day, you know; and I hope you don’t bunk the office and avoid admins show cause!

I acknowledge Valentine’s Day! Because it is the day even HR is in a “fun” mood! Have a lovely Valentine’s Day!

I hope our boss allows you to leave the office early today! You know it’s Valentine’s Day, and our boss understands your urge! ?

Have a great Valentine’s Day, senior! I hope every day of the week was like today, looking at your mood! ?

Funny Valentine’s Day Messages for Friends

It feels so sad to know that you don’t have any special person to spend Valentine’s day with. You better spend the day with me, and better luck next year!

Valentine’s day is one day to stay committed to one person and the other days are for other persons.

I hope you have prepared the best valentine’s day gift for your best friend!

Girlfriends are temporary, friends are permanent. Accept this truth, my friend.

If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.

Do you know the very famous quote saint valentines said before his death? – he said, “don’t buy a cow when you can have milk for free’’!

Love is just like a fart. If you push it, it will be crap. Happy valentine’s day, my friend!

It’s always a wonder how the least intelligent guy in the friend circle gets the most beautiful girl in the class. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Dear friend, wishing you a happy valentine’s day. I hope you will enjoy yourself with your girlfriend since she won’t leave you to accompany your friends for a night out party.

How can you be lonely on Valentine’s day when you have your friends with you? You are the true valentine to me. Happy Valentine’s Day!

I cannot send out roses as all my friends are my valentines and I don’t have that much money either. So here you go, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love is like a blanket. It will keep you warm and safe for some time but very soon you’ll realize that it was an electric blanket and someone else is in control of the switch!

Funny Valentines Day Quotes

“If my Valentine you won’t be, I’ll hang myself on your Christmas tree.” – Ernest Hemingway

“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.” – Unknown

“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Elizabeth Evans

“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke

“It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.” – Lucille Ball

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” – H. L. Mencken

“Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.” – Lewis Black

“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

“True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford

“It’s called Valentine’s Day, you moron. If you’re going to date a human, Dankmar, you need to remember their holidays.” – Abbi Glines

“Remember, your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.” – Melanie White